Author: Louie

JUST THINK

What a paradox I’ve found.

Or maybe not. Maybe I’m just bad at just thinking.

I was just thinking about how I’d like to just think. And I tried to define it. I thought about thinking and I wasn’t just thinking anymore.

But wait! Aren’t I always just thinking? What else can our minds really do?

Now just think about that.

Comfort & Creation

Nowadays I find my house a bit too comfortable. Its a cozy 3 bedroom on the east side of Madison in a quiet neighborhood, close to all my favorite grocery stores as well as the Princeton Club where I work out.

Enticed by the two-year zero-percent-interest payment option on WayFair, I financed, amongst some other essentials, the finest modular couch $1,500 you can get delivered for free. I love my couch and I love my extra plush king size bed with super soft sheets. Never had a king size bed before.

After six years of renting much older houses with several roommates and free furniture, this all feels a bit too comfortable for me. Very uninspiring.

Going into the Costco on gray market stimulants with enough credit cards in my pocket to buy hundreds of feet of television is an intense feeling. Incredibly powerful.

I hate when my thought stretches onto the next line by only one word. Like in that last paragraph. This just recently started to bother me, and after a few months of obsessing over it, changing the wording of my sentence over and over again to avoid it, I’ve been facing my fear. Like I did in the last paragraph.

I find myself at this moment in the very dingy office space I rented almost one year ago today. Its right downtown, just a block away from the house I moved out of six months ago. Now its a 15 minute drive, making it a less convenient but even more powerful escape from comfort.

It took me countless hours to remove carpet tack stripping from the concrete floors, scrape the old carpet glue, scrubbing and vacuuming as a I went. It is still mostly unpainted with holes in the wall despite the fact that I now own a small painting company. I can hear a train in the distance and although its not happening at this moment, I can hear the mysterious sounds that come along with an office in the basement of shitty old apartment building. I love it here. Very inspiring.

I’m writing this on a free couch, feet on a gross rug that we found on the curb. I’ve amassed many square feet of whiteboard on Facebook Marketplace. I always wanted some giant whiteboards, they really amuse me. Time to get another bottle of beer from the mini fridge. What will I think of when I get back?

I tried to think of something else but instead just let myself really taste how delicious and refreshing this Coors Banquet is. Stubby glass bottle too.

All On The Table

I’m putting it all on the fucking table. My dick and my balls and my word and my credit score. I’m putting it all on the table.

I just put a deposit on a two year lease on a three bedroom house. And I’m signing a one year lease on an office. I’m starting a business that will cost me most or all of my savings account and stocks. I just ordered 10,000 Grizzly Bar packages. I paid it.

I plan to get married and start a family and start a business all that shit.

It’ll all be out there. No quitting now. 1/30/2025.

I’m so fucking excited. I really did it and I’m writing about it here. If it’s a big fuck up then I guess I’ll have to sell all my shit and drive Uber for a long while just to get back to this baseline.

But I don’t care, I won’t be normal.

WITNESS ME.

SCAN ME DOC!!

I know this is going to sound insane if someone actually reads this…

I need to get it out though.

Someday I’ll get rich and have them scan my brain. I’d be shocked if “they” don’t find a serious anomaly. I get so fucking ecstatic it doesn’t make sense.

I somewhat routinely reach a near-MDMA-state while just relaxing on the couch. I’m almost always caffeinated but nothing else when feeling like this.

IDK. I kind of hope no one reads this.. but if someday “they” find an anomaly, then I can say I called it and back it up ha ha ha.

Your’s is Mine

*Thoughts from Yesterday* I’m a little drunk. Okay I’m pretty drunk. I’ve just had the best Italian food that any non-Italian has ever had before.. IDK? 1900? I’m not a historian.

I even have some leftovers. Wow. In the fridge they go.

I’m watching music videos on my curved 65″ 4k TV and surround sound. I crack my built-in liquor cabinet that came with the beautiful roaring 20’s brick home I rent a couple blocks off the Capitol Building in Madison. I fill my cup with some cheap, delicious, yet room temp box wine. So I swiftly add a little ice. It takes barely a second using the stainless steel refrigerator in my rental.

At this point, a feeling of… gratitude? hits me like a fucking brick wall. I’m not that far above the median income for one person in my county. And I felt like this even when I was below the poverty line. Feeling like I live like a king.

I don’t know if I even have a coherent point here…. but I don’t want to send these thoughts to the drafts.. so I’ll fire them off into the void instead. Goodbye.

Surprise

I’m me I’m you I’m everything 

I want to surprise myself 

What do I do 

What’s surprising 

That’s surprising 

I suppose 

Silence that it 

4 

3 

Whatever

That’s kind of surprising I guess